Booker T starts things off this week. He introduces Mark Henry. He says that being a 6 time WHC himself, he know s how hard it is to get to the mountain top, so he congratulates him and says that he earned it. Mark asks if he thinks he’s 6 times better than him because that’s how many times he won the title. He asks how Booker can kiss his ass and insult him in the same sentence. Booker says he did not mean it as an insult, and if he did insult him, he would know about it. Mark responds by saying that if he were to put Booker through an announce table, then Booker would know it. But he’s not out here for Booker. He’s out here for Orton. He vows to end the career of the Viper at HIAC. Booker asks what id Orton is able to hit the RKO at HIAC. Henry says Orton aint gonna do nothing. Because if he could, he’d have done it already. He can’t beat Henry and everyone knows it. he says Khali can’t beat him either because he beat him down on Raw, and will take out the trash when he faces him tonight. Booker thank’s Mark for his time, then leaves the ring as Khali walks out.
Match #1: World Heavyweight Champion Mark Henry d. The Great Khali.
Great match! 5 star classic! I was hoping they’d save this for Wrestlemania 28 in a special 60 minute Ironman match, but nooooooo, they give us it on Smackdown. I hope nobody believes this. The match was awful. Far too slow, far too boring and had a lack of good talent to be anything other than a bad match. The only impressive thing about it was the WSS to Khali. Very impressive to see. Post match, he inducted Khali into the HOP (Hall of Pain) by crushing his leg, just like he did to Kane and Big Show. Khali is due for his yearly knee surgery anyway, so it’s a good way to write him out. Huge blow for Smackdown. They just lost the bast wrestler in the world. Again, if you believe that this is what I really think, then I really don’t know what to tell you. Trying to keep things PG here folks.
Backstage, the 64 year old Teddy Long (Yes, he is 64!) is accompanying Khali on a stretcher. Pointless.
Match #2: WWE Tag Team Champion Evan Bourne w/ Kofi Kingston d. Jack Swagger w/ Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero.
Wasn’t a long match. Dolph had pulled Evan onto the ropes at one point but he stayed in the match. Kofi took out Dolph but Vickie distracted Evan, allowing Swagger to apply the ankle lock, forcing the hometown bow to tap out. I’m expecting a tag team title match at HIAC between these four. I’m also expecting Air Boom to retain.
Match #3: Sin Cara (Mistico) d. Heath Slater.
Squash match with a botched move, which was actually the fault of Heath Slater. Moving on.
The fake Sin Cara (Hunico) showed up on the tron. He was donning a black mask. Did I spell donning right? Anyway, i guess that’s a good thing because now it’s a lot easier to tell them apart. It was easy for me anyway, but a lot of the younger kids would have been confused. Good move WWE.
Backstage, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations, John “Marty Funkhouser” Laurinaitis, Christian, Dolph Ziggler, Vickie Guerrero, Jack Swagger, Cody Rhodes and David Otunga are having a discussion. Funk man reveals that he has been trying to get a hold of Triple H since Tuesday (It is Tuesday, you idiot!) but to no avail. The Superstars agree on a plan that will take place on Raw.
Match #4: WWE Divas Champion Kelly “COME ON!” Kelly d. Natalya.
Match was too short to be anything much. Kelly won with a roll-up. That’s fine by me because it looked like a fluky win, so it doesn’t hurt Nattie too much. Beth attacked Kelly after the match and Nattie put her in the awesome new submission that she invented on Raw. (To me, Nattie invented it. I haven’t seen anyone else do it.) Kelly started crying while Beth said she would be the next Divas Champion. Kelly crying was pathetic. Champions don’t cry, no matter how much pain they are in. She just lost all credibility she had, with me, as a champion. Say NO to candy folks and, unless it’s brussell sprouts, Say YES to vegetables.
Cody Rhodes comes out with a microphone and cuts a promo on how the WWE is discriminating against him. Cosy says that he is being forced to defend his Championship, like an impotent little child, against Sheamus. He says he’s defending his title tonight under protest. Sheamus comes out and says does he remember when that beer guzzling, bar brawling, thick headed braggart beat him in St. Louis for the IC title. He then states that this isn’t Irish folklore.
Match #5: Sheamus d. WWE Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes via DQ.
It was an ok match, but not great. Cody had quite some offense. Sheamus was able to make his comback, though, hit his Celtic hammers and front powerslam before setting him up for the Brogue kick. he missed but attempted the High Cross when Christian hit the ring, and hit the Killswitch on Sheamus in the middle of the ring. Christian yelled that Sheamus cost him the WHC, so he cost him the IC Championship. I’m assuming this means that Sheamus is winning at HIAC.
Match #6: Zack Ryder d. JTG
I think I’m having a Bookerism, because he’s in! He’s in! Zack Ryder is in Booker T’s fave five! He’s i…Wait a second, JTG is still employed? Odd. Anyway, Match wasn’t long. Or great. JTG hit a cool neckbreaker, but besides that, he wasn’t too impressive. Did anyone expect him to win? I think everybody would have put their money on the Long Island Iced Z. He won with the Rough Ryder. I don’t know why, but I like that finisher. Ryder won on both Raw and SD this week. Seems like he is in for a push. A U.S. title run would work wonders for him. I think Ziggler and Swagger will be Tag Champs in a little while anyway, so why not put the US Title on Ryder. Let’s see what he’s made of.
Backstage, Triple H was with Johnny Ace. I think Johnny’s gimmick is to text on his phone. Ace says the superstars need to confide in him, but he still thinks Triple H is doing a good job as COO and that he is as loyal as they come. Triple H says that’s fine. Because if he can’t trust someone, he might as well wish them the best in their future endeavours.
Orton cut a promo on Mark Henry and HIAC. One of the better Orton promo’s this year. He says he’s done some of the most sick & twisted atrocities ever witnessed in WWE. At HIAC, the only thing that will end will be Henry’s reign as Champion.
Match #7: Randy Orton vs Christian went to a double countout.
What an excellent show these guys put on! Truly one of their best matches to date. It’s definitely on par with the steel cage match they had a few weeks ago. Better than their MITB and CP matches too. These two are Smackdown’s best performers right now. A lot of counters and back and forth action. Just what I expected. i don’t use this phrase a lot, but the ‘put on a clinic’. By far the best TV match this week. I’m even fine fith the double CO ending. Doesn’t make either guy look weak. I have to say, I highly recommend you watch this match.
Post match, Orton is furious at the CO, so beats Christian down on the outside. Cody Rhodes comes out and helps out Christian. They beat down on Orton in the ring until Sheamus comes out and makes the save. He hits Cody with the Brogue kick and chases Christian through the crowd. Mark Henry then comes out and hits Randy with the WSS. He goes outside to get a chair. Once he comes back in, he gets nailed with an RKO. Henry rolls to the outside as Orton poses in the corner as SD goes off the air. That means that Orton is losing at HIAC. Or so I would imagine anyway. But it is WWE. Things change on a dime all the time. hey, I’m a poet and didn’t know it. Oh my, that was a crime of a rhyme. Ignore that, I don’t really know what will happen, but I’m picking Mark Henry to retain. A 2 week reign is insulting. Not just to Henry, but to me and everyone else. Short title reigns suck. Will Mark Henry retain his title this Sunday inside the Viper’s pit? Tune into WWE Hell in a Cell this Sunday and find out.
Pretty good SD this week with a fantastic Main Event.