Another batch of “Headlines” has arrived. I wasn’t originally planning on doing another edition so soon, but everyone seemed to like the last one, and there’s just been an abundance of newsworthy subjects swirling around out there as of late. Oh yeah, and these articles are incredibly easy to pump out.

Anyway, here are some top headlines that have fans in a buzz.

Randy Orton to be Announced for the Royal Rumble

Thanks WWE, I’d sure hate to be surprised or anything. I mean, yeah, it might prompt some Orton fans to buy the ppv, but a successful show does not one star make. Might as well tell everyone who the surprise entrants are. And that sums up my thoughts on that. While we’re on the subject of “The Viper”, though…

Randy Orton Knocks Lack of Depth

Roster depth that is. In the latest edition of WWE Magazine, Orton takes a jab at his fellow wrestlers, saying:

“”I’ve got many years left on my contract. I’m not going anywhere. In terms of titles, championships runs and winning Rumbles, that’s inevitable. That’s going to come. I’ll win that championship fifteen more times!…There’s not many guys in the locker room right now that I haven’t worked with or that I feel I can have that big WrestleMania match with. Who have I not worked with that’s anybody? Up-and-comers are being groomed to be the next top star, but will they ever get to where I’ve got?”

Well, the lack of depth part I agree with. It’s not that the talent isn’t there, WWE has an impeccable roster, it’s that Creative, have lost their touch when it comes to creating new stars, and characters fans can become emotionally invested in. They also, apparently, have no idea what a division is, as right now there’s merely two; longtime main eventer, and everyone else. This is very serious issue, that until fixed, will only continue to drag the product down.

WWE to Hold Focus Group

Speaking of the product being down, WWE officials seemingly haven’t a clue as to why. Thus, they’ve decided to hold another one of their focus groups, in an attempt to find out why teenagers are no longer as interested in their product as in the past. Now, if you need to take a moment to compose yourself from hysterical laughter, I understand….Ya good? Alright.
Are you serious bro? A multi-million dollar, global corporation, has to hold a meeting with teenagers, to ask them why they’re not watching the product as much anymore? May we only hope, that for the sake of everyone, these teens completely shred their current business model into tiny strands. I’m technically still a teen for a few months, how about I give this a go?

“Every aspect of your shows lack creativity. I don’t care for 90% of the superstars on the roster, and don’t blame them, for they’re incredibly talented. Blame whoever puts the shows together, because for whatever dumbbutt (I would try to remain PG here) reason, they won’t allow said stars to show their true potential. The storylines have no logic behind them, rather than ‘me want title’. The booking is terrible, from top to bottom! Oh, and whatever happened to divisions? I’m sick and tired of seeing the same match types, week end and week out. Also, this is the 21st century; I have access to pornographic sites dang near 24 hours a day, and therefore, do not watch a PG rated, primetime, network television show for eye-candy! The commentary is annoying, and not in the “heel” way, but in the “change-the-channel” or “turn-on-SAP” way. There are too many ppvs. I’m a teenager, your ppvs cost $50 a pop,enough said. Not to mention most of them suck anyway. So, why don’t I watch as much anymore? Because like OMG, you guys don’t know WTF you’re doing!”

I’m sure I left stuff out, so feel free to add onto it in the comments below.

Chyna’s Twitter Rant

While I’m ranting, might as well make note of Chyna’s recent Twitter outburst. Don’t bother reading into it; about three tweets in, and I had sustained a headache. All you need to know is, A. She’s still living in the past (like you didn’t know that), and B. A few funny people on the social networking site decided it would be hilarious to harass her by creating fake accounts. Needless to say, those who have abused drugs for years, are not quite coherent.

Ah, we’ve found ourselves on the subject of drugs.

Evan Bourne Done With WWE

In the last edition of “Headlines,” I typed about Bourne having heat on him for his first suspension. Since then, he’s failed yet another drug test, and it’s now rumored that he’ll be done with the company following the 60 day suspension. Sadly, it appears Evan has a real issue. Not that smoking synthetic marijuana has ever killed anyone (not that I condone it, nor has it been made clear that’s what caused him to fail this second test), but to squander a dream opportunity simply because you disagree with company policy, is ridiculous, and in my opinion, points to clear addiction. Hopefully, he’ll get some help, before he turns out like, let’s say, Jeff Hardy.

TNA Able to Sue WWE

WWE’s induction of the Four Horsemen into the 2012 Hall of Fame, immediately created buzz and speculation. Ric Flair was the key figure of the group, so there’s no way the group can go in without him, but he’s currently under contract to TNA. With WWE using his name/image/etc, they’re making money, via ticket sales and ratings, off TNA intellectual property. So yeah, TNA can technically sue the WWE. And I hope they do too. For one, I think that it would just be hilarious. Secondly, it would create a tiny feeling of competition.
Really, though, TNA should remember that WWE has a team of legal eagles (I love using that term), who could have probably sued them several times in the past. Like the time TNA decided to put on an ECW ppv, or when they decided to use WWE Hall of Fame rings in a magic storyline. Oh God..I’m so sorry for bringing back horrific memories.

Yeah, I think this is a pretty good stopping point, now that your head is reeling.

Taking Acetaminophen,


*Validity May Vary