Hello everyone and welcome to another edition of A RAW Opinion, I’m Joe and as always I take you through this weeks episode of WWE Raw, I apologize about last week, my computer was acting up and I wasn’t able to put up the column, this weeks show is a THREE HOUR special and promises to be big.
We start things off with John Cena and Brock Lesnar signing a contract for Extreme Rules. Teddy Long comes out first, he welcomes us to the official contract signing for Extreme Rules, he introduced John Cena first. He introduces Brock Lesnar, John Laurinaitis comes out asking Teddy what he’s going, Brock isn’t there yet, him and Teddy go back and forth a bit, Laurinaitis tells Teddy to tell Cena to leave the ring, because Cena can’t hear him himself… Stupid. Laurinaitis continues talking and EDGE IS HERE!! Edge goes to the ring, he says that he’s not supposed to be there tonight, actually in a few days he won’t even be under contract anymore, he tells Cena he’s here to talk to him, but not THIS John Cena, he doesn’t know who he is now, he wants the Cena who was his greatest rival ever, the John Cena who threw him off a ladder through two tables. Edge told Cena that Lesnar doesn’t care about anyone except himself, including the fans, he only cares if they line his pockets. Edge said Cena better wake up because if he doesn’t It’s a slap in the face to guys like Shawn, Taker and himself, he’s not asking Cena to beat Brock Lesnar, he’s telling him to beat Brock Lesnar. GREAT segment, how Edge being there didn’t leak I have no idea, but WOW what a surprise!
Chris Jericho comes out next for a match, his opponent is Kofi Kingston. I was surprised with the length of the match, it went on really long, Jericho got the win. What I don’t understand though is why CM Punk didn’t show up and just beat Jericho down bad. Jericho got on the microphone and said he had a “gift” for CM Punk tonight.
Brock Lesnar video up next, don’t care.
CM Punk being interviewed, asking him his thoughts on what Jericho said earlier, Punk said the “gift” Jericho gave him was a basket of alcohol.
Lord Tensai up next, his opponent is R Truth, they show a video of Tensai with words from earlier, he talks in Japanese so you can’t tell what he said. Squash match, Tensai wins, eh who cares, he’s boring now.
Kane walking around backstage, he’s coming out next to give Randy Orton a message. He talks about what he did to Ortons father, Orton interrupts Kane and says he had to return the favor, PAUL BEARER! He’s tied up to a wheelchair, it looks like Orton rolls him into a freezer and shuts the door. Kane says he could care less what Orton does to Bearer, Kane is leaving the ring, Orton attacks him and they go at it, Kane runs off through the crowd.
Alberto Del Rio is up next, he’s in a tag team match with Cody Rhodes against Big Show and Great Khali, this match should suck… Went on way too long, match wasn’t anything special, Cody went for the tag but Del Rio walked off allowing Show and Khali to get the win.
Brock Lesnar arrives, Josh asks him where he was earlier on, when the contract signing was supposed to happen, Brock pushes Josh up against the production truck he then tosses him around.
Beth Phoenix comes out next, she’s defending the womens title VS Nikki Bella. Eve comes out next, she’s apparently been named administrative assistant to John Laurinaitis, she announces that she’s making this match a Lumberjill match. Somehow the match spilled outside and nobody did anything, Beth looked like she hurt herself going to the outside of the ring, Nikki Bella gets the win! She’s the new divas champion, looks like Beth might legit be hurt, not good, looked pretty bad.
Apparently they’re playing an angle backstage where CM Punk was “drinking” John Laurinaitis wants him in the ring next for a field sobriety test. Jericho demands Punk be stripped of the title and it is given to him, Teddy says if Punk fails the test he will be stripped of the title and will face further discipline, CM Punk comes out from the back he walks to the ring pretty wobbly, he drops the title on the mat a couple of times. He fails saying the alphabet backwards and walking a straight line miserably and the cops in the ring left, Punk hands the title to Teddy, Teddy is about to give it to Jericho, Punk says he wants one more chance at the test, Punk starts doing the alphabet backwards while walking a straight line front and back. He gets to the final letter and attacks Jericho, beating the hell out of him.
Another Brock Lesnar video, and I care less then I did before.
Sheamus VS Mark Henry up next, Daniel Bryan is the special guest referee. Pretty dumb match, Mark Henry gets the win after a VERY fast count by Daniel Bryan. Sheamus attacks Bryan after the match, Bryan threw his shirt at Sheamus and Sheamus attacked him. Bryan gets the upper hand and locks Sheamus is the YES! Lock!
Primo and Epico in a tag match up next, their opponents are Zack Ryder and Santino. Wow, I was very surprised, Santino and Zack get the win. I figured Zack would have lost for the team. Ryder was SUPER OVER! WWE REALLY needs to take better notice.
Kane walking backstage, he passes by the freezer and opens it, he wheels Paul Bearer out, he says he came to save Bearer, for him, he wheels him back inside the freezer and shuts the door again. Alright, first off… How the hell did Bearer not freeze all the time he was in the freezer? Second, that was a dumb segment.
Our next match is Brodus Clay and Hornswoggle VS Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, and apparently they’re taking offers for products to sponsor matches now, Taco Bell Doritos Locos Tacos is sponsoring this match. I think Hornswoggle and Brodus won, but I didn’t really pay attention because this match was stupid.
Yet another Brock Lesnar video and yet again I don’t care.
Contract signing is up next, I’d bet a million dollars this ends with someone getting beaten up. We have ANOTHER Brock Lesnar video package, Lesnar says we’re tired of Cenas “bull crap” I’m already sick and tired of Lesnar, I didn’t care about him to begin win, but damn, enough is enough. John Laurinaitis comes out for the contract signing, he first introduces “The new(old) face of the WWE” Brock Lesnar. He brings out John Cena next. Cenas music plays but no Cena, music stops and Laurinaitis doesn’t know where he is, he keeps looking around, mixed Cena crowd as usual, no John Cena for a couple of minutes, Brock picks up a microphone, “Come on out little Johnny” Brock says that since John hasn’t shown up but he wants a word with Laurinaitis, he wants and needs a few changes, he’s not happy about how things are turning out, he has some demands he wants Laurinaitis to sign, Brock Lesnar is absolutely BRUTAL on the microphone. Lesnar makes a ton of stupid demands, including Raw being renamed “Monday Night Raw, starring Brock Lesnar” Lesnar signs the contract, John Cenas music hits and Cena FINALLY shows up, ROCKING THE PADLOCK CHAIN!!! Looks like The Doctor(Of Thuganomics) IS IN! Cena wraps the chain around his wrist, he signs the contract, this might be the worst ending of Raw EVER, John Cena stood there with the chain around his fist, Lesnar got on the mic again and babbled something that would make Scott Steiner proud and then left.
I don’t know exactly what I missed, I was forced to watch a stream from Sky Sports since I was watching Rangers/Senators NHL Playoff game on my TV and from what I saw, Sky Sports cuts out A LOT of the backstage segments which is kind of dumb. From what I was able to see it wasn’t all terrible, it wasn’t a good show by any stretch, but I’m glad Zack Ryder finally picked up a win, albeit it thanks to Santino. Only good parts of tonights show I thought, were CM Punk faking drunk and Edge and Cena to start the show off. Everything else I didn’t think was all that great. If WWE was trying to get people interested in this PPV, it failed, bad.
That’s all for this week, thank you for reading the column, I hope you enjoyed it. (I know the column was better then Raw was lol) I’ll be back next week with another edition of A RAW Opinion.