Monday Night Raw
April 29, 2013
-We dive right in with the co-#1 contender for the World Heavyweight Title. We have a triple threat match to start things up!
TRIPLE THREAT MATCH: Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Big E. Langston vs. Zeb Colter
-The winner of this match gets to choose the stipulation for the Extreme Rules match for the World Title. JBL is already calling this match a car wreck. Apparently Teddy Long came up with this match. Langston is pummeling Ricardo while Zeb looks on. Ricardo ducked a charge by Langston who went into the post. The match turns into a clusterfuck with guys flying all over the place as Del Rio, Dolph and Swagger all get involved too. AJ and Colter start yapping and Rodriguez rolls Colter up for the victory. That means Del Rio gets to pick the stipulation for the World Title Triple Threat match at Extreme Rules.
-Today is World Wish Day, and this morning on the Today Show we have the story of a little boy with a serious heart disorder who got his wish through Make-a-Wish to meet John Cena and he’s at Raw tonight on behalf of him and WWE. Cena then comes out with little Nick Santillo and his family and friends. This segment folks is the reason Cena will never turn heel. Cena has hit over 300 wishes, which is a record. Since 1982 WWE has granted over 5000 wishes.
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes
-In a match of former Legacy members, Orton faces the Love-stache. Coincidentally, both of these guys’ fathers are in the WWE Hall of Fame. I wonder how long Orton is going to be rudderless like this. What is he really going to do? He’s literally without a feud and just seems to be going out, wrestle and leave. Very weird. The broadcast guys are goofing off so much tonight, comparing famous mustaches. Now they’re talking about being handcuffed by Sapphire. Is my PIC Justin Rozzero booking this segment? This match has been more back and forth than I thought it was. Orton hits a big superplex but Cody stays alive. This has been a much better match that I anticipated, and also longer than I thought. Rhodes hit Cross Rhodes out of a reversal for the two count which drove him nuts. He tries a Disaster Kick off the ropes but instead eats an RKO and Orton survives. That was a great match and early candidate for TV match of the week.
-Striker gets in the ring and asks if the punch Big Show dropped him at Wrestlemania is haunting him. Orton says he’s never been more focused. Then Cody tries to sneak up on him and eats another RKO.
-Backstage the Bellas are talking about something I don’t care about.
MATCH: Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
-Oh god, who cares? We get a sneak peak of that awful show on E! about the Divas coming up this summer. The Bellas do the switcheroo and Brie actually pins Naomi. However the referee feels something fishy happened and Naomi wins by disqualification for the switch. Afterwards they brawl. YAWN.
-We return from break and out come WWE’s resident mother fuckers, The Shield. We go back to Friday night when they beat down and power bombed the Undertaker through the announce table. Ambrose says they’ve brought justice to an unjust world. Rollins says they’ve cleaned up years of injustice. We get a slide show of all their power bomb moments, from Ryback in November to Taker Friday. As Rollins talks about tonight’s match he’s interrupted by 3MB. Huh? Heath Slater says there’s unfinished business here, not with Cena and Ryback. They get in the ring and we have a brawl. During the brawl out comes Team Hell No. The Shield are standing in the ring and when Team Hell No get in the ring the Shield bolts. Team Hell No decides to beat up 3MB because they’re there. That was a great segment to give the Shield some prime interview time.
-Backstage John Cena is having his right foot taped up, when Ryback comes over. He tells Cena he’s hurt eh? Cena says he’ll be ready for tonight.
-Back from break and the announcers are tracking King’s Dominos Pizza order. Good grief. Go back to the Sonic appetizers.
MATCH: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston
-JBL continues to get upset when Ziggler wears the belt backwards. These two always work well together and tonight is no different. Kofi is a daddy in real life and the guys congratulate him. I feel the past few weeks of shows (particularly tonight and this past Friday) have had much more in-ring action and less fluff. I’m pleased by that. This match really picks up late and after so many near falls for Kofi, Ziggler ducks out of the way of a cross body and hits the Zig Zag for the win. Wow, a second candidate for TV match of the week.
-After the match, Big E. Langston hits his finisher on a prone Kofi, then a second one.
-Backstage Dolph and his crew are walking and talking when they run into Kaitlyn. She and AJ jaw jack each other. Then Kaitlyn gets a gift from a secret admirer, and it’s a spiked hat to go with her bracelet. Hmmm.
-We go back to two weeks ago when Brock Lesnar beat up 3MB, then challenged Triple H to a steel cage match at Extreme Rules. The following week Triple H accepted in London, then Pedigreed Paul Heyman.
-Backstage Brickie is yapping when in comes Ryback. He says he won’t face the Shield alone tonight with Cena injured. Vickie says there will be no handicap match. Vickie replaces Cena with Team Hell No. Ryback refuses and leaves.
-Jerry’s pizza from Domino’s is being eaten by the audience. Ugh, the torture.
MATCH: Jack Swagger vs. Zack Ryder
-Ah here’s a healthy squash. Ryder has the mike and we go back to the opening of the show and that triple threat match. Ryder says Rodriguez won the match, Woo Woo Woo. This won’t end well. However, Ryder gets some early offense in and looks to be doing well but then walks into a power bomb and the Patriot Lock for the victory. Swagger might as well enjoy this now because after May 19 he’s headed to the mid-card.
-After the match Zeb Colter is taunting him, then decks him.
-During the commercial on the app Ryback decides to leave the building.
-Mark Henry is in the ring and he introduces himself. He’s out to prove he’s the strongest man in the world and he asked Vickie Guerrero to give him 2 opponents. Out comes Sweet T, but it’s a tug of war, complete with a rope and a red line in the middle. Henry wins the first matchup. T’s partner Brodus Clay comes out next. Why didn’t they just come out together? Oh, dramatics purposes. They tug of war, Henry wins again. However now out comes Sheamus. He asks Mark Henry if he’s afraid of a tug of war with him. They battle for a while, then Sheamus lets go of the rope and Henry hits the deck. Henry charges and Sheamus hits him with the Brogue Kick.
-We go back to earlier in the night and John Cena’s guests from Make a Wish.
-Backstage Brad Maddox is with Team Hell No, and Kane cuts him off. They want The Shield. Vickie give them the Shield. They leave and Vickie whispers a task in Brad’s ear and he’s not thrilled.
-Brad Maddox is backstage with John Cena who says he’ll fight tonight. Brad says he’s hurt, but Cena will hurt him if he doesn’t go.
MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Antonio Cesaro
-These two are TV veterans against each other, so like earlier in the night with Orton/Cody there’s solid chemistry there. Cesaro will get his US Title rematch later this week on Main Event. Another great match tonight that goes back and forth, but eventually Del Rio gets the arm breaker and Cesaro taps out.
-After the match Del Rio announces that the Triple Threat match at Extreme Rules will be a ladder match. That will be excellent, and definitely raises expectations for the match.
DANCE-OFF: Fandango vs. Great Khali
-Why is Great Khali continuously trucked out here? His knees are shot. At least this is a dance-off. They each dance, of course Fandango was better but the crowd picked Khali. So he attacks Khali from behind and dropped the leg from the top rope.
-We repeat Friday’s clip of the Shield downing the Undertaker after the match with Ambrose.
-Friday on Smackdown, Dean Ambrose will face the other brother of destruction, Kane.
MATCH: Team Hell No & John Cena vs. The Shield
-How many consecutive weeks now have the Shield been in the main event of a tv show? The match itself is again entertaining and as the weeks progress the Shield have become better and better and better. Cena hasn’t done much and with the bad foot I wouldn’t put him in the match either. Can’t afford it. Bryan was the face in peril for most of the match until the hot tag to Kane. He takes Ambrose outside and starts undressing the announce table, ala what Shield did to Taker Friday but the numbers game takes over. Kane gets back in at 9. Kane eventually tags Cena in and he’s moving around ok. He cleans house but can’t hit the AA on Rollins due to his foot. He drops Rollins, eats a Reigns spear and the Shield stays undefeated as a group.
-Ryback appears at the top of the ramp as the match ends, with Cena on the ground holding his right foot. With that we’re out.
SCOTT’S TAKE: The run continues from Friday night with a show littered with matches and not much fluff. More fluff that Friday, but there is another hour to fill.
Scott’s Raw Top 5:
1) John Cena
4) Team Hell No
5) Wade Barrett