Monday Night Raw
July 15, 2013
Brooklyn, New York
We actually skip the signature and go into the video open, then we’re live at Barclays Center for Monday Night Raw! We are one night removed from Money in the Bank and the journey to Summerslam begins. The lights go out and we get a drum roll. The lights go on and here’s Brad Maddox, the new Raw GM. Wow I already can’t stand this. The GM says “My first official decision is a MITB rematch as Alberto Del Rio faces Dolph Ziggler.” Great call but still crazy annoying. I never thought I’d be so excited to hear John Cena’s theme music. Out comes the WWE Champion, fresh off making Mark Henry tap out. Wow Michael Cole calls him “polarizing”. Cena asks about the “Madd-ox era.” Cena actually makes me laugh by saying “This may be the only time that you’ll be in the ring with someone more hated than you.” He wants to give Brad a chance. Maddox tries to kiss Cena’s ass. Maddox says he loves Cena so much that he’s letting the Champ pick his Summerslam opponent. Cena thinks that’s a stupid idea has he can pick whoever he wants, including Michael Cole. With that we’re joined by Mr. Money in the Bank, Randy Orton. I’m still stunned he won last night. Don’t fail another piss test. Orton says “Don’t get ahead of yourself Brad, Cena may not be champion at Summerslam.” Orton continues. “I’m not going to make the same mistake you made last year Cena, for when I cash in Money in the Bank, you won’t see it coming.” With that, all of sudden Fandango comes out! Hell yeah Brooklyn is “Fandango-ing”. Clearly taking advantage of a great wrestling crowd. Orton goes to say something, but Fandango shushes him. Fandango says “Orton you will be cashing in on me, because Cena only one man should face you at Summerslam.” Fandango says his name and then Orton attacks him. Fandango is the clear fan favorite here. Maddox decides to book his first match of the night right now.
MATCH: Randy Orton vs. Fandango
Nice fresh matchup we haven’t seen. The crowd is chanting “Randy Savage” midway through the match. We are in Brooklyn, so this crowd could end up being legendary. Like IZOD the night after Wrestlemania. The match is pretty standard with Orton dictating the action. Fandango’s making a few comebacks as the crowd is chanting something I can’t understand but I bet it was pretty good. Orton drops Fandango with a Superplex and both men are down. Orton gets up and hits the power slam. Fandango boots him in the face out of nowhere, then goes to the top rope but Orton catches him. Great opening match tonight. Orton hits his rope DDT but from the corner. Orton drills him with an RKO and gets the win. The crowd was red hot for that one and Orton gets a big pop.
We get still shots of last night’s World Title match where AJ cost Dolph his match with Del Rio. Now we’re backstage and AJ’s trying to get Dolph’s attention but he’ll have nothing of it. Dolph officially dumps her.
Back from break and Mark Henry is getting in the ring. Mark says “Last night Cena came as advertised and is one of the greatest of all time.” He took Cena to his limits. Henry isn’t making excuses or apologies. Henry wants to be the guy that Cena picks later in the night for Summerslam. Suddenly the Shield’s music hits and out comes the Hounds of Justice. Henry won’t budge and takes his jacket off. The Shield attacks but Henry fights back but Ambrose gets a sleeper on and Reigns spears him. They continue with the 3-on-1 assault and it ends with the power bomb. Is Henry turning face or is he now off TV? Interesting.
Back from break and Maddox is on the phone when Chris Jericho arrives. He knows Jericho wants to be WWE Champion, and what way to impress Cena than to face RVD tonight? Jericho accepts. Excellent.
MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler
We get a rematch from last night. The match is back and forth but Ziggler takes a crazy bump and is backdropped over the rope to the floor. Back from break and Cole is a mess, as he can’t say the PPV name or a couple of moves right. Del Rio is in control for most of this second portion. Ziggler definitely learned from Shawn Michaels the art of selling like a mother fucker. Del Rio looks like a beast here. Dolph makes the comeback and is about to win when AJ comes out and rings the bell out of nowhere. Dolph is confused which gives Del Rio the chance to boot him in the head and get the three count. Knew that was coming.
AJ then snaps and starts smacking Ziggler around screaming “YOU’VE RUINED MY LIFE!” Then Big E Langston comes out of nowhere and clotheslines Dolph then hits his finisher. No explanation there, why would Big E turn on him? What does he have to gain? I guess just to keep him a heel?
R-Truth comes out for I guess a match, when “the family” comes out. I had a feeling that when R-Truth was coming out we’d see the awesome creepy family. All three men come out, complete with lantern and sheep mask. So Piper and Rowan beat the shit out of Truth while Bray sits in the rocking chair. Bray then gets up and says “There are no heroes, and EVERYTHING IS NOT ALRIGHT.” I’m not going to be able to give this promo justice. “What if I was to tell you your own flesh and blood turned on you.” R-Truth is back with a steel chair, and Bray challenges Truth to use it on him. Truth is distracted by the other two and Bray strikes with punches. Piper and Rowan continue the beatdown, and Bray finishes with a twist-bulldog type finisher. The crowd cheers. Bray says “Kane, follow the buzzards.”
We get a video piece on the new WWE Performance Center.
MATCH: The Real Americans vs. The Usos
Zeb Colter does his usual stuff that’s not worth re-typing. He rips into Brooklyn and the “melting pot”. So the WWE App had a vote as to who these guys would face tonight. They had a great match last night with the Shield in a losing effort. I like making Swagger/Cesaro a tag team. Gives them something to do and make another team for the growing division. Standard TV match and the Usos get the win with a roll-up. Well so much for not jobbing the heels out. Was this a receipt for losing last night?
Back from break and we are joined by Mr. Money in the Bank, Damien Sandow. The crowd loves it. We get still shots from last night where Cody Rhodes is screwed by his best friend.
MATCH: Damien Sandow vs. Christian
I wonder if Sandow will have the same record match-wise that Dolph Ziggler had when he held the MITB briefcase, losing three of every five matches. Christian’s mouth is wrecked from a Sheamus punch last night that chipped a tooth. Sure enough Sandow was going for the “Elbow of Disdain” and Christian gets a roll-up for the three count. This isn’t going to end well.
With that Cody Rhodes runs into the ring and goes after his former best friend but Sandow bails into the crowd.
Earlier today Vickie was walking around the concourse wearing a placard saying “VOTE FOR VICKIE”. This is awesome. Some schlub signed her petition. Hell I will too. Wow many people are.
MATCH: Brie Bella vs. Naomi
Ok, we’ll fast forward this piece of shit. Naomi wins with a high cross body. I’m stunned. Which one is nailing her? Brie…hmmm that’s Cena I think.
Back to last night about what happened with Paul Heyman and CM Punk with Heyman bolting out of the arena and not responding to why he cost Punk the match.
Back from break and we are joined by the BEST IN THE WORLD, CM Punk. He is limping down the ramp after the war at MITB last night. He knows both Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar are in the building and he’s not waiting so come on out. Heyman does come out. Heyman says “I am looking at an empty ring, because in my world you don’t exist.” He talks about 2005 and how he martyred his career for Punk and how they succeeded together. Paul says “There is no we without me. Without me, you aren’t the Best in the World.” He says people have called him a Judas. “The truth is a harder pill to swallow, and that’s you failed us when you lost to Undertaker at Wrestlemania..” Heyman admits he used and manipulated Punk. “All you have is these people Punk. You have no family, no wife no parents.” The crowd’s going crazy. Heyman continues “I betrayed you because CM Punk, you can’t beat Brock Lesnar.” Punk is pissed. He says “Are you done?” Punk says “I trusted you and all I have is 13 staples in my head.” He says “The truth is Paul, I’m gonna get you. And anyone who profited and enjoyed it.” He hits the line of the night “I will burn everything around you Paul until you’re the last man standing. So you son of a bitch, am I lying?” Paul responds by mocking Punk’s entrance, then out comes Brock Lesnar. Punk’s eyeing him and Heyman hits him from behind. Lesnar grabs Punk but Punk fights back. Lesnar is mangling him but Punk’s throwing forearm shots. They keep brawling and Lesnar throws Punk over the announce table. Punk jumps him but Lesnar catches him and drills him into the steel post. He finishes it off with an F-5 off the announce table. An incredible segment from all parties involved, and this is MY match for Summerslam. No it’s not actually booked yet, but it’s MY match.
We get a Total Divas promo that I fast forward. John Cena is walking backstage but he’s stopped by Great Khali who speaks another language. Cena answers him in the same language? Huh? Brad is in his office and Stephanie McMahon is here. Triple H arrives from the other side of the office. They start getting in Brad’s ear about “having superstars making decisions” and Vince not liking that. They’re alluding to Daniel Bryan being chosen and Vince won’t like that.
MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho
Two guys who were part of the roster’s backbone from 2001-2005 collide here. The last time I saw RVD in a match, he lost the TNA X-Division Title to…Kenny King. Quite an upgrade here eh? Cole actually gets his ECW history right, as he correctly says RVD debuted in ECW in 1996. Great fact by JBL: Combined these two men have won the Intercontinental Title 15 times. Jericho was in control but on the other side of the break RVD is in control. Eventually they start grinding with grapple holds. RVD has Jericho in a head scissors but Jericho power bombs him. Brooklyn chants “THIS IS AWESOME”. It indeed is. RVD hits a moonsault off the apron and fuck yeah the ECW ECW ECW chants start. This is why RVD came back, to have real matches with real opponents. Being stuck in the X-Division did nothing for him. These guys are just throwing everything at each other. Jericho misses a Lionsault but RVD does hit Rolling Thunder. The crowd is chanting “You Still Got It” to RVD. Did he ever really lose it? They keep reversing each other moves at a rapid pace. RVD hits the split-legged moonsault for a two count. Jericho with a Lionsault for 2. RVD goes up top but Jericho stops him. This match should have taken up the entire second hour. Why the hell not? RVD hits some kind of rolling moonsault off the top rope for two. Eventually Jericho ratchets the Liontamer. RVD is bleeding from his 12 staples from last night but he crawls to the ropes and grabs them. RVD hits the spinning kick and then the Froggie for the win. That was awesome. It could have been ten minutes longer.
We return from break and the entire roster is on the stage and then the WWE Champion comes out, as its time to make his decision on who he’ll face August 18 at Staples Center. Haha the Brooklyn Brawler is out there with his Deron Williams jersey. He’s struggling to decide. He hasn’t heard from the WWE Universe. “I know we haven’t seen eye to eye but your honesty is needed.” We all know what the crowd is chanting. Cena says he’ll give some names and the WWE Universe will decide. First name, Heath Slater. Or any of 3MB. Next Randy Orton. He gets a mix. Great Khali? Nope. Alberto Del Rio? Nope. Chris Jericho? That gets a mix. RVD? That gets a hearty applause. Fandango? Believe it or not, a mix from the crowd. Well it is Brooklyn and they sing the theme. Sheamus? I’d shoot myself. Ryback? Nope. Christ Cena just say his friggin name! Cena wants to know who he’s forgetting? Wow almost heelish he’s not mentioning him. The crowd’s chanting his name. So Cena does it. He chooses Daniel Bryan and the place is going bananas. Bryan gets in the ring and he (and everyone else) chants YES YES YES YES YES…and Cena doesn’t move. Cena puts a little heel in this. Well done. With that we’re out.
SCOTT’S TAKE: This was a fun show, the crowd helped and a great match by Y2J and RVD. So it’s official, Cena/Bryan at Summerslam. With Randy Orton in the background.