1. When someone says “WWF,” you jump to correct them.
And you’re sad that you even have to.
2. You’ve grown tired of explaining to people how it’s NOT FAKE. (It’s predetermined.)
And even more tired of their ass-backwards explanation of how things ‘really work.’ “You see, that table is made of reconstructed styrofoam, and they play the sound of wood breaking over the PA system at just the right time. Also, that concrete floor is actually just a trampoline made to look like concrete. And he’s wearing a body brace. And I’m an idiot.”
3. You have a love/hate relationship with WWE. You hate what it’s become, but would give anything for it to be what it once was.
4. You’ve become desensitized to seeing men of all shapes and sizes in ill-fitting spandex.
Not to mention the shaved armpits.
5. You’ll always think of The Rock as a wrestler first, who occasionally makes a movie or two on the side.
Like that little gap between 2004 and 2012. I think that was three movies, actually.
6. You have CDs of wrestler entrance themes that you’d prefer no one knew about.
(But Jim Johnston is still the man.)
7. You had early geography lessons via wrestler bios.
8. You’ve read one or two or six of these.
9. You’re ready to chant “E-C-W!” at a moment’s notice.
10. When feeling cynical, you consider finally doing a full heel turn.
11. You look at folding chairs differently than most people.
And trash cans.
And light bulbs.
12. You’ve tried four beers at once, Stone Cold style.
13. And ripping apart your shirt, Hulk Hogan style.
14. And taking off your towel Val Venis style.
Maybe that was just me.
15. If put in an amateur strip contest, you’d just do a bad Shawn Michaels imitation.
16. Every time you have something important to say, you’d feel more comfortable holding a microphone.
17. You have one or two of these that are still pretty special.
18. You’ve seen more TV weddings than most soap opera fans.
‘Scuse me while I get my hankie.
19. Every time you shave, you think “yeah, I could do a blade job. No problem.”
Then you get nicked.
20. You have a potentially-dangerous urge to jump off ladders.
Isn’t that what they’re for?
21. You’re inadvertently trained the secret code language of the business.
In other words, you know that the reason the heel potato’d the face during the finish last night was because the face was green and sandbagging, no-selling like a jabroni; now he knows that if he tries to get out of doing the job and dropping the strap, he’ll get busted open the hard way.
22. You’re also fluent in Steiner-ese.
23. Any debate over who the strongest man in the world is has to include Brock Lesnar, Bill Goldberg or Mark Henry.
Otherwise it is invalid.
24. You consider yourself a Monday Night Wars buff.
25. You know more about the Montreal Screwjob than the Kennedy Assassination.
Everyone knows Kennedy screwed Kennedy.
26. You think everything is a work. EVERYTHING.
Seriously, when is Kaufman going to show up and finish the angle already?
27. You remember where you were when you heard about Owen, and Eddie, and countless others.
28. Maybe you still watch. Maybe you don’t. But a big part of your childhood remains in front of that TV screen, respecting the hell out of the men and women who put their bodies on the line.
Making you think superheroes exist…
That you can get even with your boss…
That boyhood dreams really do come true…
And that this guy was once really, really cool.
It’s still real to you, dammit.
Via BuzzFeed.com. Classy article I had to share!
Hah, great list.
When my brother talks about something related to wrestling he doesn’t even bother saying the second W in WWF, he just says “WF”.
My reaction is always something like this. http://i.imgur.com/6ANpeGO.gif
That’d be my exact reaction too! lol. You are just thinking.. ”like man, come on, will I even bother explaining it?!”
Seriously, one of the best “columns” ever done for this site!
It’s what I do 😉
Oh you didn’t know?
411mania had a great column on this topic and it was scary how many of them were true about me. http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/columns/178872/The-Contentious-Ten-03.21.11:-Signs-You-Might-Be-a-Wrestling-Fan
I remember that!
1.) Not really because they were WWF for a long time. 2.) YES! 3.) YES! 4.) YES! 5.) NO! He’s become full Dwayne Johnson now who occasionally appears on RAW or wrestles on PPV. 6.) YES! Played X-Pac’s theme song in my Mom’s car once while she was driving. 7.) NO! 8.) Five of them! 9.) NO! 10.) NO! 11.) YES! And ladders too! 12.) NO! That would waste too much beer. 13.) NO! Why rip a shirt unless you’re not gonna wear it anymore? 14.) NO! 15.) NO! I would do a bad Big Dick Johnson imitation. 16.) NO! 17.) NO! Zero! 18.) YES! 19.) YES! I actually have done a blade job while saving…accidentally. 20.) YES! 21.) NO! I’m not that smart. 22.) NO! 23.) YES! There is no debate…Mark Henry is the strongest man. 24.) NO! I remember it, but barely…I started watching during the peak the MNW. 25.) YES! 26.) YES…even Randy getting low blowed in South Africa. 27.) YES! I remember when I heard that Owen died and I was on a baseball field when I found out Benoit died. 28.) YES!
Did I pass the test?
Passed with flying colors! haha. Honestly I still think ”The Rock”, not Dwayne. Anytime someone famous dies I usually always remember where I was.
I’ve been watching “The Hero” and he’s 100% Dwayne Johnson now. I watch old videos of The Rock and he doesn’t look or sound like Dwayne Johnson. It’s like they are two different people. Whenever I see him on “The Hero”, I rarely think about The Rock.
I have yet to see The Hero, is it any good?
The Finale is tonight. I like it and not because Dwayne is in it. It’s an entertaining reality show.
8) Iv’e read three. HBK/Jericho/Mankind.
Honestly the ONLY two things from the list that don’t count for me are 7 and 17! lol. It’s scary how true these signs are!
I like #11. I usually think about wrestling whenever I see a folding chair.
#1 and #20 are funny 🙂 . Nice compilation of all the true facts! It is so much awkward when someone says WWF in front of you and you are like .. ” IT IS WWE!!! ” W W E!! 🙂